Reminisce
by InzanityFirez
Summary: Spike and Angel are in pain and have only each other to turn to, how do they deal?  A love-hate 'heart-to-heart' in a bar with their own bloody pasts to keep them company sounds like just the thing...Friendship fic XD


**My first fanfic with these lovely fellows. I've always been a big Spike x Angel fan XD Spike especially. He's just so dang yummeh. XD Enjoy~**

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_Clink_.

The clink of glasses, a stoic expression, and alcohol that would never ease their sorrows. Yes, this was a fitting bit of mourning for what they'd lost. The battle had been won, but the cost…

"Being the good guy sucks."

"…Excuse me?"

"I mean, honestly, it's nothing like they say. No fancy cars, no detoxified virgins, Hell, the only 'girl' you get is the one screaming in your ear, 'help me, help me'." Spike mimicked in a faint falsetto as he took another shot down and slid his cup over for the barkeep to refill. "Having a soul is such a bitch." he muttered.

Angel cast a faintly annoyed look at the platinum-haired vampire beside him. Normally, spending time with Spike would be considered on par with having a stake shoved through his hand, but right now, they were all they had. They had an understanding that no one left alive (or undead) could match for either of them that came from shared experience, amongst other things. He considered it a moment and asked. "Do you regret it? Getting a soul?"

"Do you?" Spike retorted as he got his glass back and downed it again.

Did he regret it? At first, it had killed him. Memories of those he'd hurt replayed in his mind over and over, his own personal, mental Hell. It had been agony, to have to face the monster he'd become…and then he'd met _her_. Buffy. Another form of personal Hell, mixed in with the sweetness of Heaven that he could never have. He could be a monster in love, or a hero alone.

Yeah. Maybe being the good guy really did suck.

But no. "I don't." he replied simply. The people he had helped made it worth it, despite his own personal pains.

"Yeah…me neither. Being a hero is vastly overrated but, s'not such a bad gig." he paused before he added. "Still, we had us quite a time when we were 'baddies', eh?"

"Times like those I'd rather forget." Angel muttered as he sipped his drink slowly. He didn't derive the same sense of comfort as Spike did out of drinking something that held no sway over them anymore anyway.

"Come off it. Even you have to admit, we were kings in those days…"

"_Come on, boys, don't look so scared, it's a party, right?" Angelus grinned at the stunned human soldiers before him. Beside him stood a smug looking Darla, and an arrogant Spike with a fawning Drusilla snuggled up against him on his arm. _

_A human battle had left plenty of chaos and causalities, and wasn't it his humanitarian duty to see them all off? Euthanasia, and all that. _

_Furthermore, Angelus liked to pick sides in wars the way one picked sides in a football game. It was just for amusement, just part and parcel of his displays of power, just….his life. Or undead existence, rather. _

"_Say, William, how about you take the contingent on the left, and I'll take the one on the right, huh?" Angelus chuckled. _

_Darla at his side pouted. "What about Dru and I? Don't we get to tear a few limbs off…?"_

_Angelus sucked in an unnecessary breath as he loped an arm around Darla's waist and pulled her close. "Baby, you know I love it when you talk bloody to me.." he pressed a fierce kiss against her lips before he pulled away with another grin and released her. "Darla and Dru can have the ones in the middle." _

_Drusilla giggled. "Oh, goody…we're going to have a feast tonight!" she said in sing song as she nuzzled against Spike's neck. _

"_That's right, luv," he said as he kissed her head with a grin. _

_The soldiers looked on in horror. It was a group of them, forty or so, who had been a hidden reserve to be called upon…but these people had found them first. They'd lifted their guns but in the end, the first one to try had had his neck snapped…and there was no way out of the niche they were trapped in. _

"_Let the games begin!" Angelus clapped his hands together before the four vampires morphed to take their prey. _

Angel slammed his glass down on the table and rubbed his head against such memories. "What we did isn't something to be proud of…"

"Well…I mean, I'm not proud of killing all those people or anything, I just mean…well, we kicked ass. Can't change that." Spike shrugged and Angel found that he was remembering more and more why he couldn't stand Spike.

"We slaughtered thousands of innocent people. I don't call that 'kicking ass' I call that being murderers."

"Yeah and now we've saved the world-what, like three times? I think that makes the slate about clean."

Angel eyed the other in mild disgust as he shook his head. "You're hopeless…"

Spike stared down at his glass a moment before he shrugged. "Maybe. Does it matter? We're both a pair of hopeless sods. Stupid 'heroes' jilted by 'the girl' and now left to drink our sorrows away, except that we can't, because we're already dead. That about sum it up?"

"…You're a horrible drinking partner."

"I can sing, if you like-"

"-I will strangle you if you utter so much as one syllable of song, Spike, I mean it."

Spike smirked faintly. "Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for-" his head was cuffed and he scowled. "Hey!"

"A pirate's life for me? Seriously?"

"What? I thought it suited the moment." Spike seemed to pout faintly.

"You're an idiot."

"Hate you too, sweetheart."

Angel was silent a moment before he spoke. "If you could change anything, would you?"

Spike seemed taken aback a moment before he shifted uncomfortably. "S'kinda a weird question, coming from you, innit?" he considered the question anyway before he shook his head. "Nah. Even the crappy moments were good. Well, no they weren't. Like Mum trying to put the squeeze on me, or falling in love with all the wrong women. Or meeting your sorry self. Bloody Hell, that's the worst." Angel rolled his eyes and Spike finished with- "But it's my life, good and bad. If I changed it, I wouldn't be me. What's the fun in that?" he finished what he decided would be his last pointless drink of the evening. "I suppose you'd want to do something noble, like never become a vamp in the first place, right?"

"…It would have saved a lot of people if I hadn't…but I've saved a lot of people since…and I met…people." 'Buffy' was of course, what he really meant and Spike gave a mirthless smile. Yup. They both had a problem with falling in love with the wrong women, or woman, in this case. Vampires in love with the bloody Slayer, how twisted was that? But then, they had souls, and wasn't that even more ironic? "I'm not proud of all that I've done…but I don't think I'd change it." Maybe if he had done better by Connor…that might be worth changing…

Spike was silent a moment before he scoffed and ran a hand through his hair with an irritated sort of huff. "Look at us, having a bloody heart-to-heart or something… Almost makes me forget that I can't stand you."

"Almost makes me forget that you're a prick."

"Love the sweet talk, mate. It's no wonder you're such a lady killer."

"What's your excuse?"

"I learned from the best."

"Asshole."

"Bloody bastard."

Spike and Angel stared down at the bar counter a moment in silence. They'd been many things over the years. Rivals, comrades, partners, enemies, friends, even lovers once upon a very highly regretted night. A real epitome of a love-hate relationship, heavy emphasis on the latter. But they did understand each other. 'William the Bloody' and 'Angelus', Spike and Angel, vampires with souls, both in love with a Slayer, both fighting against Fate and all that came with it. They shared a past, present, and without a doubt-a future.

"You about ready to go?" Spike asked as he slid some money onto the counter and rose as Angel did the same almost in unison.

"Yeah. I think I've listened to you whine enough for one night."

"Look who's talking. You're such a prat."

Angel and Spike were by then out of the entrance of the bar where they stepped onto the street and stopped to gaze up at the moon. "Moon's out. Could be monsters on the prowl."

"Could be. Nothing to be concerned about though, we're the worst of those monsters, aren't we?"

There was silence before there came a reply. "Nah. You're too soft. All touchy-feely and crap." Spike dismissed the other with a chuckle. "Me, on the other hand, even with a soul…I still kick ass."

"You really are an idiot. I hate you, you know that?"

Spike slipped a hand onto Angel's shoulder as they began to walk again and he gave it a squeeze, and he felt a few of Angel's fingers lightly touch that hand.

"Yeah, mate. I hate you too. That's why we always end up stuck together. Because Fate is a bloody bitch and hates us both."

"Midnight movie?" Angel queried with a familiar rhythm.

"Yeah, but I'm picking this time. Your taste in movies is crap." Spike grumbled.

"Tasteless idiot." Angel muttered.

"Bloody prig." Spike replied.

The pair walked off down the street, a familiar rhythm of insult and silent comfort that fit their relationship well, they weren't exactly picturesque best friends but…with who they were, it suited them just fine…

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**Whoot! Hope that was alright XD It probably belongs in the 'Angel' section, but Buffy section has more fans so hopefully posting it here gets a few more reads…*shame* XD This takes place…within a few weeks of the end of Angel with the big apocalyptic battle and death toll and such. Their love-hate camaraderie and all that. XD~P.S. I've switched it to 'Angel'. I'm so OCD XD  
**


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